


L'appel du vide

by Niullum



Series: Short Fics! [5]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Depression, Ficlet, Gen, Jason Todd is a good brother, Mental Health Issues, No Character Death, Protective Jason Todd, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tim Drake Needs a Hug, l'appel du vide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:14:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27133711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niullum/pseuds/Niullum
Summary: The worst part is knowing no one is there to stop him if Tim decides to jump.
Relationships: Tim Drake & Jason Todd
Series: Short Fics! [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1931164
Comments: 49
Kudos: 477





	L'appel du vide

**Author's Note:**

> me: i'm going to take a break
> 
> also me: *writes two fics in one day*

Tim doesn’t remember how he came up here or when he decided to perch on the highest building in Gotham. All he does, in fact, know is that he’s been standing here for far too long, looking down at the passengers passing by.

His fingers can attest to that. They’re so cold Tim has stopped feeling them. Moving them is almost impossible now. Doesn’t stop him from trying.

 _Clench and unclench_.

He lets out a shuddering breath, hugging himself a bit tighter. Something is wrong with him but he can’t pinpoint _what_ exactly. His mind is filled with thoughts, each one getting more darker and depressing.

There’s one that stands out the most: _jump_. Jump off the building. Do it. _Jump._ The worst part is knowing no one is there to stop him if he decides to jump. That’s what makes it so terrifying and nerve-wracking.

Except there’s this urge, this _feeling_ inside his chest, thumping against his ribcage that’s making him slowly creep closer to the ledge of the twenty-floor building. Like his body being pulled closer to the edge by an invisible object or force.

And Tim is too enrapture looking at the void to stop it. Too focused on his own thoughts to even notice how he’s been subconsciously walking towards it. It would take five minutes, he realizes. Perhaps even less depending on the wind’s velocity and-

 _No one will know_.

The thought strikes him like a lightning bolt. It would be so easy. One more step and let the gravity do its own thing. No more feelings. No more thoughts, only silence. Rest. From a statistical point of view, this is the perfect opportunity to do so.

Maybe that’s the way things should end. His mom always taught him to be an overachiever, to stand out amongst the rest. A chuckle escapes from his mouth at the reminder of his dead mother.

_Are you proud of me now?_

Doubts she will. Deads can’t speak after all. He wipes off the tears with his sleeve. Whoever finds him will sure think otherwise, but it will be okay. Tim knows it will, in the end.

He takes a deep breath, ignoring how fast his heart is beating and looks down for one last time. Fewer passengers are passing by, but that isn’t important anymore. It won’t be in the next couple seconds.

 _Do it_ , it whispers. _Do it you coward_.

He takes a deep breath counts to three and-

Then a hand grasps his wrist.

“Hey Replacement,” a voice speaks through the darkness, startling him as he stills. “Whatcha doin'?”

“Jason?” Tim calls, ignoring how his voice comes out no louder than a whisper.

“Why don’t you come here baby bird?” He replies in a soft voice. He’s not wearing the voice modulator. _Wrong_ , his mind screams. _Wrong, wrong, wrong_. Jason is never without his voice modulator. It only means he took the helmet off. “Can you step away from the ledge? You’re not wearing your safety line.”

“I can’t,” Tim tells him in a moment of true bravery. He can’t back down, not when he's so freaking _close_. He opens his mouth as his brain scrambles for a reply. Something that won’t make Jason worry. He settles for, “maybe later Jay.”

“Tell me, Tim,” his eyes widen at the name. He can’t remember if Jason has ever called him that before. Bruce would yell at him for sharing names in costume. Tim’s too tired to even care. “Will there be a later?”

He opens his mouth and closes it, unable to voice out his feelings. He doesn’t want Jason to worry.

“I-” he trails off and that’s enough of an answer for Jason.

“Step away from the ledge Timbo,” he says. He flinches at the tone. There’s no doubt this is a warning. His plan is slowly starting to crumble down. “I’m not going to repeat myself. Don’t do this.”

His world stops.

_He knows._

Panic spreads throughout his whole body.

_Jason knows_

He fights to break free but the grip is _stronger_ , and before Tim can even do anything another hand grabs him from behind and _spun_ him around, pulling him off the edge.

Tim collides against Jason’s chest, knocking the air out of his lungs. The thought of failure burns. He doesn’t want to look up and see the hurt in his brother’s eyes. Doesn’t want to be present at all.

“Tim,” he hears just as two arms hug him, enclosing him, leaving him no option of escape. “Look at me, please?”

He refuses to.

Jason picks up the hint fast.

“Oracle I need backup. Red Robin has been incapacitated,” the words make him flinch harder. _Incapacitated_. A fancy word for not saying _suicidal_. He can’t even imagine what will happen later when the rest of the team arrives.

The hypothetical look on Bruce’s face (crestfallen, shocked, lips pursed into a straight line, a few more stressed lines to be added to the never collection of wrinkles, mentally calculating the possibilities of this being Ivy’s pollen and not Tim’s broken mind) and the rest (Dick horrified, eyes widening as Jason tells them in a detached and clinical voice) is just enough to make him wish he’d never bothered to-

“It will be okay,” Jason says but strangely Tim thinks it’s just to make Jason feel better because deep down, Tim _knows_ it won’t ever be okay. He won’t be okay. That’s just the way things are and always be.

It’s a thing Tim has been forced to live with. But he doesn’t say it out loud. There’s no need to be cruel and break Jason’s illusion or worry him more. He presses his face against Jason’s chest and lets himself be comforted by his words, even if they are just lies.

So he listens and stands there, until the rest arrives.

**Author's Note:**

> Would you be interested in a small follow up? I was thinking of doing a brief continuation but I would love to hear your opinion. Kudos and comments water my crops and gives me serotonin. Thank you for reading and I hope you have a good day!


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